It's requiring a whole lot of maitri, a Sanskrit word that can be defined as unconditional friendliness towards oneself.
Maitri means accepting yourself just as you are are, warts and all. It's a form of self-love that generates a wave of loving kindness that spreads outward from the self to others. It rejects the idea that we have to reach a state of perfection (which is unattainable for humans, of course) in order to love others fully or carry out our responsibilities in the world.
For me, the Buddhist practice of maitri is a gentle voice in my head that tells me that I can keep going, and that I should. It means not beating myself up about my missed days of exercise or for a bout of emotional eating. It's a guiding voice that tells me to be brave and face the things that make me anxious.
It means constantly pulling myself into the present with a simple act or gesture--a kind word of connection, a smile, a cuddle, a long chat with a friend--rather than checking out mentally as I go through my day.
It also means facing this set of letters on the computer keyboard every day and trying to write through this February funk I'm feeling. Lately when I sit down to write I start off with one idea, and the words take me in an entirely different direction. It's a sign of my muddled mind, I think, and maitri tells me that I just have to accept that that's where I am right now.
Hitting "Publish Post" on this little love letter to myself and to you is also a form of maitri, a way of saying, as Madeleine L'Engle does in The Summer of the Great-Grandmother; The Crosswicks Journal, Book Two:
"'This is how it is for me. How is it for you?'"
7 comments:
“And you would accept the seasons of your heart just as you have always accepted that seasons pass over your fields and you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.”
kahil gibran
in my heart i am feeling that jan/feb i am sketching in pencil and in march/april i will add the colour
xo
margie
I think it is such a difficult task to accept ourselves just as we are, to not feel that we have to always strive to be better. But I think it is a task worth attempting. Thank you for the thoughts.
wow.
thanks so much for sharing this.
We all need that gentle word in our hearts and minds. Let us promise to keep it. Truly.
What a beautiful photo, Patricia.
sorry about the February funk, my friend. I remember reading a couple of years ago, Amanda Soule (Soulemama) who was saying that February, even though the shortest month of the year, was also the most difficult to survive. It's most probably because it's the transition between winter & the beginning of spring. Our bodies are tired & have been ill/sick in the winter, and we need that extra kick for making us walk & make things actually, and for moving forward until Spring arrives & season changes.
Keeping you in my thoughts, Pat. Sending you all my love xoxo
i love where you are on your journey to self acceptance!! the not beating oneself up - why is that so hard? well, i know why, but so glad we are both learning how to hear the compassionate and loving voice instead!
which also means i need to log out very soon and strap on my running shoes (especially since it is in the upper 50's today!)
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