I was born saying no. My mom tells me that I started wailing when I was born and just didn't stop for a year. I had a hernia as a baby, but even after it was repaired I still cried. The world with all its noises and smells just bothered me. Shirt tags made red, itchy blotches on the back of my neck. I hated trying on clothes. The chemical smells made my face itchy and hot, and all the fabrics were scratchy to my skin. Most of my childhood you could find me curled up in a chair or in my bed reading a book.
When I first read Joanie's (ninimakes) email asking for participants in the Crafting for Courage fundraiser, I thought of a million reasons that I should say no. A lot of them were valid. This was a busy week of afterschool activities for the kids, and I knew my time would be limited.
But I said yes. Because I have realized painfully over the last few years that saying no to opportunities to participate in a project with a caring group of people like this is in effect saying no to myself. Saying no to my connectedness with my friends and neighbors and even people in crisis halfway around the globe from me. Saying no to my creative self. Saying no to letting myself sink into the joy of making. Saying no, you're not good enough to work with others and put your work out there.
Making each one of these bunnies is a yes practice, related to the love practices I wrote about last month. It's facing that my stitches are imperfect but beautiful in their imperfection. It's accepting that I can only work at my own pace. It's accepting each step in the process and moving forward even when I don't have the pattern and instructions.
This is the third in a series of small yesses for me lately, mouthing the affirmative when I just wanted to run away from the anxiety. I said yes, and I am realizing that my perfectly imperfect self is enough.
12 comments:
A beautiful post. (and a timely one for me as well...thank you) I love how your stitches are visible..all those little "yes"s (yeses?) lined up...some absolutely perfect, once in a while a little imperfect, but always a statement from the heart. I'm a lurker on your blog...but wanted to finally take the time to say "thank you" for sharing who you are and what you do.
Inspirational post.
What a beautiful post. I'm so glad you're saying yes, and gladder still that you're feeling good about saying yes.
Taking part in this effort, despite everything else on my plate (and that non-paying job I "get" to do) has helped pulled me out of a funk I've been in lately. I think being part of something larger and in such good company made me feel more connected and less lonely.
So thanks. Thanks for this lovely post and for sharing your adorable bunnies, and for being a friend.
I feel lots of positive vibes in this post & in your "voice", and I'm so darn happy about that !
I've grown up saying no, and I still find myself saying no probably too often, when I shall say yes, YES with a big heart ! I'm not speaking of commitments, of things that don't make your life be actually better. But anyway, I digress.
Thank you for your comment on the blog, but I don't agree, I was not alone in the boat, and I was only one of the many sailors. I share all the praise & reward with you all girls.
Like Lisa said, it also gave me that boost, that kick in the butt that I needed, and knowing I was helping, in a real actual way, was a feeling like no other. And the connection between us girls is here to stay.
I know some day, some place, we will all meet. I know that.
oxoxoxo
I'm glad you said yes too!!! These are really lovely little bunnies:)
So right on. Thank you. It's good to read at the beginning of a week that I am trying to look forward to, and having trouble. I will remember to say yes to myself more.
Such a touching post, Pat ! But I can hardly believe you were a "no" girl ! Quite the reverse, you always appear to me as a grateful mind, a big heart, a child soul, spreading positive waves around you ... And this is very inspiring !
I feel lucky to have you as friend and to be part of this wonderful group that connects all of us each day even more :)
Wish you and your adorable bunnies (and your family, of course) a cheerful Sunday, whatever the weather !
Very inspirational on the heels of the Feast of the Annunciation this past Friday. Mary, mother of Jesus, is the ultimate example of saying 'yes' when called by God to do something outside our comfort zone. She proceeded with complete faith and confidence, even though she wondered, "how can this be, for I do not know man?" How can this be, Lord? How can I do this, this thing that you are calling me to that seems so beyond my ability. He always gives us what we need to accomplish the task, no matter how great or how small.
Pat, thank you for being an example of 'yes' in our world!
Lisa, your more than good enough! Your one of the kindest, cleverest most talented people I know. And if you ever need to hear that again, just come knocking! I can't wait for the day you write something longer than a blog post to inspire and move us, you must!
I'm so happy that you said yes, and that everybody said yes! It will be a great feeling to send in my donation (which I'll do on Tuesday in case a pattern order comes in overnight.) In fact I woke up to a pattern order this morning - Osaka, Japan. I had a wonderful online conversation with the buyer, Tokiko, and she wants us to know that though shes's not in the northeast, she's "Grateful for our thoughtful action." She says our "...efforts will encourage children in the disaster areas."
Seems our "yeses" have already reached Japan :)
Hope you've had a lovely weekend.
Jx
P.S. Don't you just love the name Tokiko? It might just inspire a new doll... someday :)
Look's like I'm having trouble with my "you're" and "your" words this evening, always a sign that my head should be on the pillow, not upright at the computer ;)
Night-night!
Jx
It is difficult to read that someone thinks they are not good enough. You just have to look at what you create with your hands, read your words and witness and how they affect others to know that you are good enough. keep saying yes.
i really like this idea of saying yes, and also the idea of "practicing". also yes to the idea that a graduate school degree can inform the making of a plush bunny who hops out into the world generating goodwill!
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